Okay... So, I'm actually here to vent now.

I'm single. Again. 9 months is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Well, it was almost 9 months. Not quite. That would have been in... 4 days. ::sigh:: I feel really weird about being single. Sort of. Like, there's this part of me that wants to get out, meet new people, date, have fun, be young... But, there's a whole seperate side of me that is absolutely mortified of it. Petrified that I made the wrong choice in this break up. Petrified that single life really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm not used to feeling lonely anymore. It's going to take some adjusting.

I miss having a hand to hold. A hand that I know would be there no matter what. A person I knew would do anything for me at any given moment. Someone who I knew, without a doubt would be there for me...

Was that the problem? Was I so used to the uncertainty of my previous relationship that I couldn't handle the security of this one? No training. No Iraq. No distance...

I've realized exactly how young I am. How stupid. How unsure of everything I am.

I do have a future planned. I want to teach. I want a hubby that loves me. I want 3 kids. I want a house. I want a dog. I want a cat. I want a garden with a white fence around it. I want what every girl wants... I just have no freaking clue how I'm going to get there.

ick.